5 Things We Say That Quietly Undermine Our Credibility
Whenever I coach emerging speakers or leaders, they almost always tell me, “I know I need to get rid of my ums and ahs.” And yes, those filler sounds can be distracting. But they’re just the beginning. There are other, more subtle habits that can drive a listener crazy - and they can quietly chip away at your authority, without you even realising it.
Here are five of the most common traps I see in presentations, meetings, video content and networking conversations:
1. “I’m not really an expert, but…” The moment you say this, your audience believes you. Even if you have decades of experience, you’ve handed away your authority. People trust certainty more than perfection.
2. “Does that make sense?” Used sparingly, this phrase can show care and provides instant feedback. But overused, it signals that you don’t trust your own clarity. A stronger choice is: “What questions do you have?” It positions you as confident and open, rather than unsure.
3. “I’ll keep this short.” Never in the history of someone saying ‘I’ll keep this short’ have they ever actually kept it short. This phrase literally primes your audience to believe you’re possibly about to waste their time. Instead, respect their time by being clear and structured from the outset. This is about attention economics. Time and attention are commoditised due to the impact of social media and the evolution of our shortened attention spans. Show, don’t tell, that you value brevity. Bullet points with a bit of context are fine. On the flipside, don’t give your audience a list of 30 bullet points. (Boring.)
4. Fillers: “Um, ah, like, you know.” Fillers creep in when we’re nervous, buying ourselves thinking space. But they make us sound uncertain. Often I remind my coaching clients that their brain is simply trying to keep up with their mouths. (Always good for breaking the tension…..) A pause is more powerful. It’s ok to leave space in your presentation. Silence signals presence and control, and it gives the brains of the listener time to process what you’ve shared.
And finally:
5. Apologising unnecessarily. “I’m sorry, I’m a bit nervous.” “Sorry, I’m not great at this.” Unless you’ve genuinely caused harm, don’t apologise for showing up. Your audience doesn’t need perfection; they need presence.
The reality is that most of these habits aren’t careless. They’re often learned behaviours stemming from the environments we surround ourselves with or the people we associate with most. They are part of our ‘normal’; however, they can distract an audience and erode trust.
The good news? Once you’re aware of them, you can start replacing them with stronger, clearer choices. And that’s how you move from simply being heard, to being remembered.
In your corner,
Monique
