Dealing With Criticism

Dealing With Criticism

Criticism is one of those things no one really prepares you for.

Not properly.

We’re taught how to succeed.
We’re taught how to present ourselves.
We’re taught how to improve.

But we’re rarely taught how to sit with the moment when someone looks at something we’ve poured our time, effort, and heart into… and tells us it’s not good enough.

Or not right.

Or not what they expected.

Criticism lands differently depending on who you are.

If you’re someone who cares deeply about people, about doing good work, about making things meaningful, criticism can feel personal very quickly. Even when it isn’t intended that way.

And if you’re in leadership, speaking, or any kind of visible role, criticism is not an occasional visitor.

It’s part of the job.

For a long time, I reacted to criticism in one of two ways.

I either tried to explain myself into safety… or I carried it around with me long after the moment had passed.

Neither of those responses was particularly helpful.

One drains your energy.
The other drains your confidence.

Over time I’ve learned something that shifted everything.

Criticism is information.

Not identity.

Information.

Sometimes that information is incredibly valuable. It points out something we genuinely didn’t see. A blind spot. A gap. An opportunity to improve.

Other times, it’s simply someone else’s perspective colliding with our choices.

And the skill is learning to tell the difference.

Not all criticism deserves equal space in your mind.

Some criticism comes from people who are invested in your growth. They care about the outcome and are willing to offer insight, even if it’s uncomfortable.

That kind of criticism is gold.

Then there’s the other kind. The drive-by opinion. The commentary from people who are not in the room, not doing the work, not carrying the responsibility.

That kind requires a different response.

You acknowledge it.
You consider it briefly.
And then you decide whether it belongs anywhere near your decision-making.

One of the hardest parts of leadership is understanding that clarity will disappoint some people.

When you make decisions, when you draw lines, when you choose direction, not everyone will agree.

And sometimes criticism is simply the sound of expectations colliding with reality.

That doesn’t mean you’re wrong.

It means you’re leading.

What I’ve learned to do now is slow down when criticism arrives.

Instead of reacting, I ask myself three questions.

Is there truth in this?

Is this coming from someone whose perspective I value?

And most importantly…

Does acting on this criticism move the work forward?

If the answer is yes, I listen carefully.

If the answer is no, I let it pass through without building a home for it in my head.

This isn’t about becoming thick-skinned or indifferent. Care still matters. Feedback still matters.

But leadership requires a steadiness that protects both your work and your wellbeing.

You cannot build anything meaningful while trying to avoid criticism completely.

Visibility invites opinion.

Creation invites commentary.

Leadership invites scrutiny.

The goal isn’t to eliminate criticism.

The goal is to develop the wisdom to understand what it’s actually telling you.

Some criticism will refine your craft.

Some will test your resolve.

And some will simply remind you that when you choose to stand up and create something, not everyone will clap.

That’s okay.

Speak clearly.
Lead thoughtfully.
Inspire through the work itself.

And let criticism become part of the conversation, not the definition of who you are.