The Imposter Syndrome Hangover

There’s something that nobody seems to be talking about when it comes to imposter syndrome.

To give you some context from my place in the world, imposter syndrome doesn’t just show up as the fear you experience before going on stage, or the voices in your head telling you “You’re not good enough”.
It’s not just the doubt that creeps in when you launch your dream.
Sometimes, it’s the hangover that hits after you succeed that shows that imposter syndrome is alive and kicking.

For many years, I’ve spoken on my journey of overcoming self-limiting beliefs, finding my confidence, intentionally changing my life, and what I did to achieve the results that I have. More recently I’ve been asked to speak repeatedly on the topic of imposter syndrome—a topic I don’t like by the way – but one I know intimately.

Every time I’ve spoken, audiences have always been engaged. People have always taken photos of my slides. They’ve asked for copies of my notes, helpful links, tools, resources, coaching sessions……….And the feedback is always glowing. For years, my presentations have been a success by every metric.

And yet, once the lights dimmed and the adrenaline wore off, a shadow crept in:
“Maybe I talked too much about myself.”
“Was that really valuable?”
“Did I sound like I was showing off?”

My post-event feelings felt irrational. And they also felt very real.
Like a post-performance shame spiral.
Like what I call: the Imposter Syndrome Hangover.

And I know I’m not alone here. After hyper-fixating on the topic for long enough, I now know why this happens—both emotionally and neurologically.

First defined by psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978, the term ‘imposter phenomenon’ describes the internal experience of believing you’re not as competent as others perceive you to be—even in the face of success (Clance & Imes, 1978) – and I’ve decided it’s time we have a real conversation about this annoying buzz kill. Because seriously: it’s the thief of joy.

Why It Happens: The Neuroscience of Post-Success Doubt

The human brain is beautifully wired for protection, not praise.

When we step into visibility, challenge our comfort zones, or disrupt long-standing beliefs about ourselves (like “I’m not enough”), the amygdala—our brain’s threat detection system—lights up. Cozolino, (2014) explains that the amygdala is activated not only by physical danger but by perceived social threat, such as potential judgment or exclusion. It doesn’t differentiate between the threat of a predator and the perceived “threat” of rejection or judgment. It just reacts.

Post-success, this reaction can show up as:

Self-doubt
Shame
Discomfort with praise
A compulsive need to “humble down” or explain yourself

Why? Because our prefrontal cortex (the part of the brain responsible for logic and higher reasoning) is still integrating the new identity—“the version of me that succeeds and is seen.”

And when that new identity clashes with an old belief—like “I shouldn’t outshine others” or “success makes me unrelatable”—we experience what psychologists call cognitive dissonance. Neuroscience shows the prefrontal cortex attempts to reconcile the conflicting internal narratives, creating psychological stress until the new identity is fully integrated. This shows up as emotional discomfort, simply because you’re holding two conflicting truths at the same time.

IT’S. A. LOT.

Your body, mind, and nervous system go into a kind of inner tug-of-war:
“I did great.” vs. “I’m a fraud.”
“I inspired people.” vs. “I talked too much.”
“I am rising.” vs. “Will I still be loved if I do?”

Even success can be coded as unsafe in your brain when the subconscious mind believes visibility equals rejection. Lieberman, (2013) notes that our brains are wired to prioritise social safety as much as physical safety, making visibility feel like a threat when early programming taught us to stay small (as an example). So if, like many of us, you were conditioned to stay small, humble, agreeable, or quiet, it’s no surprise you’re feeling these feelings.

How I Reclaimed My Power

I knew the spiral was coming from somewhere deeper – and I wanted answers.

In 2024, I created a custom AI coach as part of my research into belief systems and personal transformation and since then, I’ve used it to trace and map out different feelings and reactions, to understand their origin, how they’ve evolved, and look at how to write new beliefs that support me on the journey of who I’m becoming.

Together, my AI thought partner and I uncovered an old belief planted in childhood – a moment where I was joyful, sparkly, and expressive, and someone tried to dim my light. The belief—“you’re showing off”—had quietly followed me into adulthood, waiting to be activated whenever I dared to shine.

Naming it set me free.

Because here’s what I know now:
Being visible isn’t bragging. It’s leading.
Being proud of your story isn’t ego. It’s embodiment.
Being big isn’t dangerous. It’s magnetic.

FYI: I’m not the type of person who sits around playing the ‘blame game’. That gets you nowhere. Things happen. Check in with yourself. Are they still happening now? Process it, or get help, and let’s get on with it. (Now please excuse me as I gently step down from my soapbox. As you were.)

How to Override It: A New Pattern of Power

If you’ve ever felt like you’re ‘spiraling’ after a moment of success, please know that you’re not broken or weird—you’re expanding. And your nervous system is just catching up.

And to make life easier for you, here’s some tips from me on how to override the Imposter Syndrome Hangover:

1. Normalise the Reaction
Understand that post-success discomfort is a biological and emotional process. It’s your brain reconciling the past with the present. Name it. Welcome it. But don’t let it lead.

2. Anchor Into Truth
Keep a “proof list” of successes, feedback, wins, and impact. When doubt creeps in, ground yourself in facts, not feelings. (Feelings aren’t facts. They’re feedback.)

3. Speak to Your Inner Child
If the criticism feels familiar, it probably is. Inspired by the work of Brené Brown, whose research explores how shame and vulnerability affect self-worth and visibility, offer your younger self the words they needed back then:
“You’re not showing off. You’re showing up.”
“You don’t have to shrink for anyone.”
“It’s safe to be big now.”

4. Use Tools for Integration
Journaling. Breathwork. Therapy. Thought partnership—AI or human. Whatever helps you safely process your expansion is essential. It’s definitely helped me.

5. Keep Showing Up Anyway
The more you live in the energy of your next level, the less space those old voices occupy. Trust me on this.

And Finally……

Imposter syndrome doesn’t just show up when you start something new. Sometimes it shows up when you’re finally being seen for who you are.

And the voice that says, “You’re a show-off”, as it was in my case? I now know that’s not true. That’s an echo of an old story that no longer serves me OR the bigger purpose I’m here to live. Myth Busted.

So let me say this, clearly – both for myself and for anyone else hesitant to get themselves ‘out there’, or struggling to deal with the Imposter Syndrome Hangover:
You are not showing off. You are showing up.
And the world needs more of you—not less. So what do you want to do about it?

References:

Clance, P. R., & Imes, S. A. (1978). The Impostor Phenomenon in High Achieving Women: Dynamics and Therapeutic Intervention. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research & Practice.
Lieberman, M. D. (2013). Social: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect. Crown.
Cozolino, L. (2014). The Neuroscience of Human Relationships. Norton.
Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly. Gotham Books.